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15 Dumb Questions People Asked Completely Seriously

In school, I remember hearing teachers say that the only dumb questions are the ones that we do not ask. As it turns out — that was a complete and total lie!

Have a look and check out these 15 dumb questions people asked completely seriously. They're living proof of how there's no bigger oxymoron than the term "common sense."

"I'm a postpartum nurse. A patient asked me "when will the doctor be here to pierce my nipples so I can breastfeed?" - Reddit u/MaleficentWatercress

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Who would ever want to have kids if this was actually true?! Although I suppose when you compare it to vaginal birth, a pierced nipple would be a walk in the park.

This is what happens when parents make their children opt-out of sex-ed in public school.

Hooked on phonics worked for me!

Unsplash | Pierre Châtel-Innocenti

Back when Redditor lessparanoidandroid was working at a pizza parlor, the restaurant was offering something called the 'UFO Special.' One of their coworkers was writing down a takeout order and asked "how do you spell UFO?"

It would appear that someone has seen *Pleasantville* one too many times.

"A girlfriend of a friend of mine asked, 'I wonder what it was like before color?' This chick thought the WORLD WAS BLACK AND WHITE not film." - Reddit u/MissFrybread

No gorillas were harmed in the making of this product.

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Reddit user KeevanGoliath was once asked by a customer whether or not Gorilla Glue was made with real gorillas. She explained how she was vegan and therefore would be unable to use it if the product contained real gorillas.

Why would a dwarf need a smaller engine?

"Because I am a dwarf I get a lot of hilarious ones, but one of my favorites was 'do you need to get a smaller engine for your car?' I really wish I could have seen your internal process that led to that question, lady." - Reddit u/deleted

The innocence of children is only compounded by their idiocy.

Unsplash | Nathan Dumlao

Reddit user ZJones1994 recalls one family dinner where their sister asked, "if nuns aren't allowed to have sex — how do they make more nuns?"

There are literally so many jokes floating through my mind right now, it's blasphemous.

"The insurance company asked if there was a chance that my dad's amputated leg would grow back." - Reddit u/Whatendings

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that there is absolutely zero chance that a human being would be able to regrow a limb. We're not lizards, people.

Life for me is a riverboat fantasy.

Unsplash | Angga Indratama

While this Redditor was working for a white water rafting company, they said that the number one question they would get asked after barreling down the river was, "are we back to where we started from?"

No, rivers don't actually flow in circles.

I'll have an order of fries; hold the potatoes.

"Someone was placing an order once at my family’s restaurant, and they had asked me for a side of French fries without the potatoes. I assumed she was joking, so I laughed...she wasn’t joking. She got offended and left the restaurant." - Reddit u/mr_unoriginal88

Excel can be a real pain in the butt.

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After sending in the monthly reports, Redditor fluffykittenears got an e-mail from their boss to make the pages smaller. What she failed to realize was that she was reading her Excel sheet zoomed-in at 200%.

Sometimes it's impossible to see the blatantly obvious.

Unsplash | Hari Nandakumar

"People visiting Alaska on a cruise would walk onto the dock-- a dock protruding[sic] into the pacific ocean-- then look up at the mountains and ask what elevation we were at. 1 foot, ma'am. You are standing on a dock which is at sea level." - Reddit u/backpackbuddhabowl

Remember that maps are always to scale.

Unsplash | T.H. Chia

Redditor ruthlessko was once asked how it was even possible for a plane to land on the island of Japan, due to the fact that it was so small. That's right, they thought that the size of Japan on the map was how big it is in real life.

Turkeys aren't chickens.

"While working as a butcher, I showed a deli clerk how to break down a whole chicken into pieces. I show her, 'two breasts, two wings, two legs, two thighs.' she looks at me and asks, 'which part does the turkey come from?'." - Reddit u/WildCatRupe

When you're having so much fun you just can't think straight.

Unsplash | Liv Sy

Reddit user omglia is a former Disneyland employee/cast member. They said that the most common question guests would come up and ask was "what time is the three o'clock parade?"

How they were able to contain their laughter is beyond me.

A storm is coming.

Unsplash | Felix Mittermeier

"In high school, we were warming up before a baseball game one evening and some really ominous, dark clouds started rolling in. One of my teammates very seriously asked “Is that a storm or is that just night coming?”. I will never forget that." - Reddit u/leezus34

h/t: Reddit